Speaking out against this injustice

Recently, one of my friends challenged me to speak up... 

I’m convinced that we cannot remain silent to the hate, violence and the ignorance that’s become visible in our country (and world). For it is in moments such as this that we learn to reconcile, unite, and become better neighbors with one another. 

And I know way too many people who aren’t speaking up! I can understand that. I didn’t want to speak up either. When I was first challenged to say something, I didn't know what I should say. I certainly don’t condone violence or racism of any form. To me, the images and videos of what’s happening is sickening and depressing to watch. And seeing the prejudice and hatred that still exist is painfully eye-opening. But, something needs to change.

Up to this point, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I’m uncertain. I’ll admit it: I’m ignorant. And I thought my uncertainty and ignorance was something I should hide. Truth is, I don’t have the answers. I don’t want to pretend to. The last thing I want to do right now is regurgitate cliche quotes, over-simplistic one-liners, or repost trending social media memes. And I refuse to spit out some half-ass empathetic statement if I don’t even know what I’m being empathetic about. So, although it’s embarrassing to admit, I've sat in silence - unknowing of what I should say. And I’ve used my uncertainty as a justification for my silence. I thought that because I didn’t know what to say, it was better not to say anything at all. 

It’s much easier to be silent in the midst of injustice, controversy and conflict. It would probably be easier to wait for this to blow over, but years ago I made a decision not to live my life for the sake of ease. I realized that I couldn’t be content, satisfied or fulfilled with myself if I lived like that. It’s not the path I’ve chosen. So as I speak up, please allow me to openly plead my ignorance in all of this. I want to learn and understand what’s happening in the world around us. I can't be silent anymore. I don’t want to be stuck in my own ignorance any longer. I want to grow. I want to better understand what’s taking place and learn how I can somehow be a loving and helpful neighbor. 

First, a bit about me: I’m a 34 year old white male. I have a bachelor of science degree in mathematics and a master of divinity degree. I’m married and my wife and I have two boys and a girl. Our house is in the country and we own a little bit of land. We have two cars. A dog. You get the point... I come from a family that has always prided itself in hard work, faith, integrity, community and other core values. I learned these values since I was a child and I’m incredibly grateful for them. I grew up in a small town and much of my family lives in small towns. We were taught that if you just work hard enough, have a good attitude, maintain good principles, smile and keep your head up, then doors would open for you. And they have. I’ve worked hard, built relationships, and I’ve had more opportunities and have been given more than I could have ever imagined. This is the formula I was taught and it’s the formula so many of my friends and family have come to know and live by. And it was the formula my family lived by when they immigrated to the U.S. in the early 1800s. This is all part of my story. It has shaped who I am and how I think.

The reality is, I haven’t experienced what it’s like to have skin that’s a different color. Growing up, my best friend was Mexican, but I don’t know what it’s like to be Mexican. In college, many of the guys on our basketball team were black, but I don’t know what it’s like to be black. Some of my friends have talked to me about their experiences, but their experiences haven’t been my experiences. And I’ve been told that my formula doesn’t work the same for everyone. I’ve learned that other people experience much different and higher levels of adversity. 

Up to this point, one of the reasons why racism has been such a difficult issue for me to talk about is because it means I have to come face-to-face with the idea of white privilege. My white privilege. There, I said it. I’ve been given incredible opportunities, I’ve worked hard and I’ve been given more than I could have ever imagined. But, white privilege is something I’ve been in denial about. Because the formula I was taught isn’t a formula that works the same for everyone. Other people have had to face certain kinds of adversities that I’ve never had to face. It doesn’t mean that me or my family didn't work hard, it just means that when other people work hard, they don’t always get the same results. Why? Because of the color of their skin. And for years, I lived in ignorance about this - pretending as if it wasn’t really a thing. I didn’t understand it. And maybe I never tried hard enough to understand it. Maybe I became offended or defensive too quickly. Or maybe I lived with a fear-based paradigm. Either way, shame on me. I’m sorry. For years, I ignorantly thought white privilege was a derogatory term that spoke against who I am and where I come from. It’s not. White privilege refers to the societal privileges that benefit people with white skin. In other words, what has been “normal” for me isn’t always normal for a person with a different color skin. It means that there isn’t a level playing field. Injustice. 

I’ll admit it: I haven’t tried to educate myself as much as I should have. I haven’t asked other people what their experiences have been like. I’ve been ignorant and sinfully silent. I’ve actually tried to not see the injustice. So, I’m speaking up because I want to learn. I don’t want to just stand by and watch the banter go back and forth; I want to do whatever I can to learn more about what we’re talking about. Something has to change. I want to listen and have a dialogue. I want to continually learn about my own white privilege and strive to do what I can to bring more equality, understanding and justice to the world we live in. I want to work to reconcile the people in my community. Again, something has to change. I want to do better. 

So, I’m speaking up. I can’t be silent anymore. I’m lamenting over the horror I've seen. I’m condemning all forms (whether hidden or visible) of racism. I’m raising a prophetic voice and pointing to a world that is no longer entrapped by hatred or fear. I’m declaring that we have a responsibility to paint our relationships and our communities with love, forgiveness, understanding, compassion and hope. Something has to change. We must change. We must speak up against racism and violence. We must acknowledge our own ignorance and be willing to listen. We must not get offended or defensive. Fear isn’t good for our hearts. We must strive to understand the experiences of those who have a different skin color.

With all the horror, terror and hatred, I STILL believe in the power of the Cross. I STILL believe that brokenness can and will be overcome. I STILL believe new life is possible in this life. And I STILL believe we can be reconciled with ourselves, with others, and with God.

My posture is this:
I’m want to listen
I’m want to learn
I want to understand
I want to say I’m sorry.