Family

This is my love, Kelly Jo (I call her "Nia").

This is Jude, our firstborn (we call him "Juder").

This is Calvin, our youngest (we call him "Brudder Bear").

They LOVE ice cream like their mamma.  :)

Jude and I on 4th of July (2014).

This is my family!

It takes a team, a vision, and it makes a culture

It takes a team, a vision, and it makes a culture.

I had a spontaneous idea today.  I thought it would be a great idea to hunt for morel mushrooms – something I had never done before.  What a great idea!  I thought I’d try it while I took a break from the computer work I was stuck in all day.  I didn’t really know what I was doing and I didn’t really know where to look, but I figured it couldn’t be too hard.  Or could it?   I assumed my passion to hunt morels would compensate for my lack of knowledge.

After the first thousand mosquito bites and absolutely no luck, I decided to get on my phone and Google where morel mushrooms could be found.  It sounds silly now, but for some reason I assumed I was just going to aimlessly wander into a patch of morels or something.  I finally found a website that gave incredibly practical advice for new mushroom hunters; advice that would have come in handy before the mosquitos had almost eaten me alive.  Come to find out, the website said that morels are found in certain locations throughout the progressing stages of their growing season.  That would have been nice to know ahead of time.  Another thing the website suggested was the use of mosquito spray.  It said that because morel season is in the spring, people tend to forget about mosquitos and their need for repellent until it’s too late.  It was too late!  The website also suggested morel hunting as a unique and recreational way to spend time with friends.  It makes sense I guess, but I’ve never really had that thought cross my mind before.  Besides, deciding to go was a last second thing. 

I walked around for over an hour with absolutely no luck.  After another thousand mosquito bites, I was irritated and itchy, but I wasn’t going to give up quite that easy.  Then, after running into a thorn bush and also having felt and picked off a pesky deer tick that crawled up my leg, I called it quits and started my way back to the car.  For some strange reason, morel hunting wasn’t interesting anymore.  

How many people fall prey to this sort of trap?  You set out by yourself and think you can succeed because you have an idea you’re passionate about.  New ideas and big passions can make you feel so incredible, they can consume you and make you think that what you’ve set out to do is the only thing worth doing.  The passion that comes with a new idea can be so intoxicating; it can make you feel as if you’re the only one in existence.  If you pursue your new idea without preparation, you’ll have a long journey ahead of you.  And if you attempt it by yourself, you’ll soon come to find out that it won’t matter how much passion you once had; you’ll find out that your intense passion will fade and your original idea will become incredibly unattractive. 

It only takes a little bit of time, empty hands, some mosquito bites, and a pesky tick before you find yourself heading back to the car while thinking to yourself, “That was a dumb idea.”  That is, until you get back to your car and hear four enthusiastic friends talk with one another about the fifteen pounds of morels they just found on their excursion.  Apparently, they thought it was a really good idea.  Well, good for them.  I’d have fun too if I found that many morels.  

The thing is, even if those four friends didn’t find any morels, they probably would have found a way to have fun anyway.  It's not always about the morels.

The smallest situations can teach the greatest lessons.

Failing from unpreparedness is unproductive.

Winning from unpreparedness is counterproductive.

Failing despite preparedness is productive.

Winning from preparedness is glorious.

Winning alone isn't gratifying,
But failing alone is intolerable.

Failing with friends isn’t all that bad,

But winning with friends is a freaking party.

Being alone isn’t enough.

Original ideas aren’t enough. 

Intense passions won’t be enough.

It takes a team instead of just an individual. 

It takes a vision instead of just an idea. 

It takes a culture instead of a short-lived passion.

It takes a team, a vision, and it makes a culture. 

If you’re with friends it'll be worth it, regardless of whether you win or lose.

I want to be part of that kind of culture.

Does anybody want to go hunt morels with me?

To Jude and Calvin (a journal entry about prayer)

This week has certainly turned into the warmest week so far this year.  My discipline of prayer took place yesterday while walking the hills and trails of our local state park.

I hiked up a large hill and into a pine grove.  It always seems to be quieter there in comparison to other places - probably from the pine needles that break up the sound.  My single focus was to experience an awareness of God’s presence through solitude in nature.

I quickly realized that for some reason, there is “agony” in me. 

I wondered:  Why am I this way?  Why don’t I ever stop?  Why do I keep living to prove myself to myself?  To others?  Why can’t I relax in this pine grove and know the peace of God in the depths of my soul? 

In hope, I prayed:  “Lord, I know I am your Beloved.  I know that I can stop doing, slow down, and rest.  I know that I don’t have to prove myself to you and I can rest in believing that you continually prove yourself to me.  Hear my cry.  Know my voice.  Please rest my anxious and troubled heart.”

It seemed like the sky opened:  With a force of gentle might, the Almighty One said, “I Am.”

In that moment, joy overcame me because of the view - my awareness of being became my prayer.  The sight of the trees, the sky, the grass, and the landscape somehow infused with me as we became one.  The gentle breeze not only breathed on my face and hair, but also in my soul.

To participate with existence is beautiful.  To love.  To be.  To breathe.  To think.  To feel.

To exist is something truly wonderful… 

I thought:  I don’t always participate with existence - agony is always the result.  Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.  Teach me your ways.  Guide my paths.  Allow me to hear your rhythms (Psalm 119). 

It sounds ridiculous, but remembering to value such moments and plan for them in the days ahead is a challenge.   Urgency is always knocking at the day’s agenda.  Life’s pace is always being encouraged to accelerate.  Regardless of these external pressures, the challenge of planning for and valuing these moments is worth fighting for.  The life that is founded upon those sorts of moments has more value than anything else (Matthew 13:44-46).

I need those times.  I will plan for those times.  I will be faithful to those times.  I will try and make all times like those times.

Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.

Be existence for me in those times…in all times.

Inspiring the world's tomorrow

We are the church,
so let's imagine, 
what if...

What if we believed Jesus?

What if we believed the explosive power of love and grace?

What if we believed in the kingdom of God?

What if we believed in transformation?

What if we believed that tomorrow doesn't have to be the same as yesterday?

What if we gave people a chance instead of waiting for them to earn a chance?

What if we showed people their worth instead of waiting for them to show us their worth?

What if we gave love away instead of waiting for love to come our way?

What if we offered our trust to people instead of waiting for them to offer their trust to us?

What if we practice relational generosity instead of being relational penny-pinchers?


I know,
it seems like Jesus was a little bit crazy,
but maybe we could learn a thing or two
about ourselves, about God, about one another, and about the world we live in.

He seemed
to believe in something so much bigger,
so can we.

Imagine,
what if…

What if we influenced the future of peoples' track record instead of dismissing them because the track record of their past?

What if God's will was done on earth as it is in heaven?

Imagine,
what if…
We are the church,
so let's imagine -
what if…

A Dawning

I'm strong.
I think it's embarrassing to be weak.
Other people think they're weak,
But I think I'm strong.
Am I only one who thinks I'm strong?
They think all of us are weak,
but I'm not weak, I'm strong.
I'm the only one who thinks I'm strong.

Am I strong?
Or am I weak?

I don't want to be the only one strong.
It's embarrassing - being the only one not weak.
But what do they see that makes them think they're weak?

Maybe I'm not so strong,
but rather, weak.
I think I'm weak.
I don't want to be the only one who is weak,
who thinks they are strong.
That's not strong,
that's weak.
It's embarrassing to be strong -
I'm weak.

Journal Entry 1-8-13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iXdsoI8KKs&feature=youtu.be

Beautiful Pain

I'm standing in the flames
And it's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find a light, find a light, find a light
Standing in the flames
And it's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find a light, find a light, find a light

*the hook from Eminem's song, "Beautiful Pain."

thankful for encouraging seminary profs

Thankful for my prof. who sends emails like this:

"I want to thank you for all of your hard work this semester. I know that we are half way through the course and all of you are tired. Let me just say that Christmas break is here and you have a few weeks off. Please, don't fill your days with work. Take some time to be with your family. Read a fiction book. Go for a drive or a walk with someone you love. Have a friend over for dinner. Take a nap in your favorite chair. In other words, take a break, you all deserve one. You are moving into a wonderful semester. I believe that you will begin preaching class next semester. If so, you are in for a treat. It is a great class and way different than you experienced this semester with worship. And for our class, you are going to be meeting with a spiritual advisor of your choosing and doing some spiritual direction with someone you appreciate in ministry. It will be a welcome, refreshing and recharging change of pace for us. I can't wait to see how God will move in our lives in the coming months. But for now, relax. The Bible says to taste and see that the Lord is Good. As you eat and drink with friends and family over this Christmas season, taste and see the goodness of Jesus. Love you all and will continue to pray for your rest over the Christmas season. Pastor Aaron."

advent's joyfulness

Our joyous advent of Christ is robust

because of what has been promised to us,

a life we know from experience and thus,  

we've seen too much to enter distrust.

Our wait is joyful by how we're persuaded:

like, how colors splash upon the much faded;

how deserts are given water cascaded - 

life generated for those once sedated.  

May joy persevere as paleness looks near;

plain, and with nothing to offer we fear; 

parched, and panting for water like deer.

We will adhere and our joy He will steer!

Always remember, always proclaim;

we will render Christ's beautiful name.

We will hold steady when life is hard;

however heavy or how it gets marred.

From out of the bleak we, too, will arise;

we, those called meek, He will baptize.

The joy we all share regarding the Lord's Prayer;

it's heaven on earth - our pursuit and affair.

Our joyous advent of Christ is robust

because of what has been promised to us,

a life we know from experience and thus,  

we've seen too much to enter distrust.

Closer than you think

Every once in a while, you come across a phrase that jumps out at you;
a phrase you've heard a hundred times before,
but this time,
you pause just long enough to let it soak in.

Well, let this phrase from Psalms sink in:
We praise you, God,
we praise you for your Name is near;
people tell of your wonderful deeds.



What does that even mean?
What on earth was psalmist suggesting?
Was it merely intended to sound mystical?
Perhaps we should we brush it under the rug and forget it was ever there.
Or, perhaps the psalmist was saying something about God that we should pay attention to.
Obviously, he had something to praise God for.
But what did he mean when he wrote,
"we praise you for your Name is near?"
What does it mean for someone's name to be near?




Recently I overheard a God talk that a few people were having.
      A God talk is one of those conversations
      where people offer their perspectives on who God is,
      what he is like,
      what he is up to,
      and what faith is all about.
      I absolutely love God talks.
      They stimulate my own perspective and curiosity about God.
      But God talks also act as windows,
      which allow me to witness how other people perceive God.  

This particular conversation was fascinating.
I was fascinated by how quickly this conversation transitioned from a God talk
into a conversation about heaven and hell.
It was a window that allowed me to see
something most of us could relate to.
We all tend to do this sort of thing:
we turn God talks into
      conversations about heaven or hell,
      political lefts or rights,
      church philosophies,
      church history,
      church cultures,
      denominational contrasts,
      social justice issues,
      atheism vs. theism,
we turn God talks into conversations about
us vs. them...
our opinions vs. theirs.
All the while, we never really get to talking about God;
we talk about everything else.




The psalmist didn't talk about any of that.
Instead, he praised God
because he thought God's name was near.
His God talks were relevant because he considered God to be mysteriously nearby,
active,
and integrated into the unfolding experience of life itself.
The psalmist praised
as people excitedly talked about God's inspiring
connectivity with the world and the people in it.
That was the content of their God talks.




When was the last time you were excited about the nearness of God,
or excited about what you saw God doing in the world,
or excited about what Christ was doing in people's lives?
That is what the psalmist was doing.

Do you ever get sick of God talks that have nothing to do with God Himself?
Do you ever get tired from the repetitive jargon disguised as a God talk?
Do you ever get bored with the heaven and hell conversation?

Don't you want to see God as the psalmist saw God - incredibly near and active?
      Wouldn't it be refreshing to know He is present:
            in every breath?
            every time you held your kids?
            every time you sat down to the blessing of a warm meal?
            every time you looked at a good painting or listened to a great song?
            every time a roof was over your head?
            every time you interacted with another human being?




The psalmist had a significant reason to praise God.
And so do we.
Because,
God is closer than you think.
He is present.  He is near.

As you read this,
know that Christ is far more integrated into this moment
than you could ever imagine.

And that calls for an interesting God talk.

a provocatively gracious relationship

This has something to do with the relationship between "a young pastor" and "a church."  For the time being, I'll allow this post to remain anonymous in regards to the particular people involved.  :)

I wrote this because it's a personal challenge that seems to surface again and again and again.  If I'm honest, sometimes I don't want to remember parts of what I'm about to say.  It's too challenging.  It's too convicting.  It even messes with my ego.  Nonetheless, every once in a great while I get a glimpse of what humility looks like.  When I do, I want to write it down as fast as I can so I can remember it later after I forget.








There are several challenging aspects in following a young pastor and also in being a young pastor. Having to communicate and lead a mass of people who have more life experience, further education, better leadership qualities, and who are more emotionally stable is quite a conundrum for many young pastors.  Likewise, having to listen and be led by a young leader who has less life experience, less education, less leadership exposure, and less emotional maturity is quite a conundrum for many faith communities.    

It's not like any of that is a secret, though.  Big deal, right?    

Of course it's a challenge to be a young pastor.  Of course it's challenging for a faith community to follow the lead of a young pastor.  I could have told you that before I became a pastor.  

What I couldn't have told you was what those challenges may have specifically looked like.  Although there are many challenges, below is a particular challenge that I've become more and more aware of.  

An incredible challenge in being a young pastor is the responsibility of teaching what isn't yet “known.” I don't mean "known" from an intellectual standpoint; rather from a life experience standpoint.  Young pastors haven't "known" life in the same way that older people in the faith community have "known" life.  It may seem easy to stand up and share theological bullet points with people; it's a much different ballgame when you realize that because of your age and experience, you haven't really come to “know” what you're talking about in the same way others have - yet you have to teach/preach anyways.

Intellectual theology and experiencing theology are two different worlds. When a young pastor has to teach theology with the recognition that much of his or her audience attains more experience in that same theology; that is a humbling realization.  


And this realization makes the light bulb come on in regards to two truths...

Young pastors must generously give grace to their faith community.  

Although this may be true, there is something else that is true also.  

There are two sides to the coin.

Young pastors must generously receive grace from their faith community.  

However ahead one may think they are on their intellectual theology, they are often far behind in their experiential theology. 

It goes both ways.  

A young pastor having to give grace is hard enough

but a young pastor having to receive grace is even harder.  
And that's the sort of thing that messes with your ego.  

So the voice of ego asks,
"Aren't they the ones that need my grace?"
"Why do I need grace from them?"


And the voice of humility replies,
"Joel, you aren't the superhero you thought you were."
"You're the one that requires the most grace of all."

Living in the tension between intellectual theology and experiential theology is provocative for all parties involved. Yet, somehow and somewhere in that place among that tension, the giving and receiving of grace generates and demonstrates Christ's community.  To put it another way, as the young pastor extends grace in the faith community's slow intellectual growth, the faith community must also extend grace to the young pastor's slow experiential growth.

Growth happens together.

A responsibility for the young pastor is to faithfully teach what isn't yet experienced - “known.” It takes giving grace and receiving grace. It takes pride and humility.  It takes intellect and experience. It takes leadership and servantship. Following a young pastor is incredibly hard. Being a young pastor is incredibly hard.

Success in the giving and receiving of grace is miraculous.
That is where growth happens.
Growth happens together.  

Creating Spaces for Solitude

Create spaces for solitude.

There have been these deafening voices in my head lately (isn't that the way to start out a post?).

Have I mentioned how loud they are?  The voices come from television, movies, music, Facebook, emails, books, magazines, blogs, seminary discussions and papers, work expectations, people's opinions, family, friends, text messages, billboards, radio, ministry partners, and we could sit here and continue this list much longer if we wanted…  Help, they're so loud!  These voices aren't always external either.  Sometimes, they can come from my hands and sometimes from my head - doing and thinking.

It seems there are millions of voices attempting to define reality.  Each one has a different angle, agenda, or approach.  Some of them are incredibly good voices to listen to and some of them are simply time consuming.  But sometimes, when these voices become so deafening, nothing else is able to be heard.

I've always thought it was interesting that each Gospels account (in the Bible: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) give significant attention to Jesus' habit of "often going to lonely places."  And even more, in the Gospel of Mark, which is by far the shortest account of Jesus' story, there are at least sixteen times where this idea is found.  It seems that the idea of solitude or "going away to lonely places" is one that deserves our attention.

When writing on the topic of solitude, Anne Lindbergh said, "We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationship.  We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror of its ebb."

Also writing on solitude, Thomas Kempis said, "In quiet and silence the faithful soul makes progress, the hidden meanings of the Scriptures become clear…as one learns to grow still, he draws closer to the Creator and farther from the hurly-burly of the world.  The person who wants to arrive at spirituality has to leave the crowd behind and spend some time with their Creator."

The busyness of life can often creep in and take these moments of stillness away if you aren't careful.  When the flows of life are so plentiful, when the tide is continually in and there's so many "things" to do, it's incredibly easy to see success and accomplishment more virtuous than solitude and stillness.  When the voices become so plentiful, how do you know which ones to listen to?  When the flows take over, you might want to ask yourself which voices you're allowing to define your reality.  Life needs the flows, but it ALSO needs the ebbs.  Life needs moments of solitude, silence, stillness, where you can be at peace with yourself and God.  Life needs The Voice to define reality in the moments of solitude.

Stopping and sitting in solitude allows my heart to hear.  It's harder to hear with my heart than it is my head or hands.  Sometimes, the blaring voices of my head and hands drowned out any chance of ever hearing with my heart.  I need solitude, silence, and stillness - to listen with my heart and allow God to define my reality.  I trust that!  I have faith in that!  I somehow place my hope there!  It's that voice I'll listen to.  Among all the other voices, I'll be attentive to that one.

When my heart is healthy, I'll have a healthy head and healthy hands.  When my heart is made healthy in the ebbs of low tide, the flows of high tide will be that much better.

So this week, I've been intentional about stopping in the middle of my work, and going for a walk to connect with the Voice that that I hear best when everything else is shut up.  Somebody recently told me that I could do the same sort of thing through a 14 second prayer; I disagree.  Being intentional about this requires time and sacrifice.  It requires me to clearly recognize stillness and solitude as virtuous.

It's been beautiful.  It's been rejuvenating.  It's been all that I could ask for, and more.  And little by little, I see why Jesus did what He did when the flows of life never ceased and the voices became too loud.  He intentionally sought solitude, stillness, and silence.

There's something there…something about that...something special…

We need the ebbs and flows.